THEREFORE, I have known MANY malignant narcissists in my life.
I am not a survivor who will say "I am so healthy and I do not know why I attract certain people in my life". BULLSHIT to anyone who does.
I have been observing my entire life as "HSIC" (Head Scapegoat in Charge) and a heart full of love empath. Ha! I can tell you while I am BEYOND grateful and have been for a long time of this very difficult "combination", it would have been an easier life to have been a narcissist or empath... One or the other.
When my dad died and ExN did his final discard (essentially on the same day), I was supposed to APPEAR that it was "too much" and I had a "breakdown". This "reasoning" is such a no-brainer for critical thinking... IT WAS BUYABLE.
NEWSFLASH! I loved my dad beyond words and this was no secret. I had spent nearly forty years worried about him and doing whatever I could to try and save him. There was some relief in the pain. All at once, I "lost" two "energy suckers" from my life. I felt so FREE. For once in my damned life.
JOKE ON ME
Critical thinking point #1: Only COWARDS to their core would attack at this point. This is PRIME TIME for them. Funny that there were never very big lines crossed with me when he was alive AND he was the bridge to my brother... You don't go after someone's daughter or sister without consequence. Oh yeah... EVERYONE knew this.
All of a sudden I was "God's gift to men". I could not keep them away... MY OFFICE was the hot spot. I had men bolting across parking lots to speak of my "beauty"... I was being "groomed" for the ass showing of my life.
At the time, I thought "Omg... Look at me"... I am SO WORTHY and the grass is SO much greener than where I was... NOW, Jesus Christ... WTF???
I AM INCAPABLE AND UNWILLING OF FUCKING UP MY LIFE ON MY OWN...
Insane sociopaths are willing to lend a hand... From hacking my employment accounts, destroying my property, stealing my possessions, remotely accessing my internet connection, texting as me, Facebooking as me, posting as me... BAITING FOR A FALSE AND INACCURATE "PICTURE"....
SHIT CAN GET REAL... FAST!
The BLINDSIDE... I am a tech tard. Duh... Get me talking about hacking, computers, the remote shit coming up on my laptop by ITSELF (REPEATING the Charles Manson video sealed my fate on "crazy")... I was a blithering idiot. GOT ME. Oh... I was FANTASTIC:)
GOAL: DRIVE her crazy... shit, didn't work... maker her LOOK crazy... MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Destruction on this level has many "flying monkeys", "sheep" who have been lied to, and bits and pieces "hidden" where not one person knows the entirety. There are definite "sides". In my "fuckery", someone(s) are fully committed to this being for my "own good". I'll go more in to that later... Just roll with me.
As far as ExN goes, I have ZERO idea where he has been since he left MY house for a destination or two in which he never arrived. I also know there is another "side"... Just not clear on exactly who.
SO, I get the "bullet points" but I don't know the story. That should seem VERY odd to anyone with processing ability.
Hmmm... Here I sit with all of these pieces and am fully aware of some who were DIRECTLY involved. ***I*** am NOT afraid of a "come to Jesus" with several parties. I have cleared a FULL background check in two states. I am free to ROAM. I have never had to deal with any law enforcement or state agency on ANYTHING relating to my conduct.
HINT: Sociopaths will forge or construct any paperwork that works in their favor.
SO... This says I am willing to work this out like an adult and have begged to do so. Sides will not come together. No one is afraid of me. People are more than welcome not to like me. They are NOT allowed to cause harm or enable abuse.
Just in this very vague outline, critical thinking should send a RED FLAG there is a disconnect in stories they have heard. THIS is why I have SO FREAKING little tolerance for stupidity and those who refuse to THINK.
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