Envy and Cluster B... What you DON'T see says it all...

This is slippery although I'm becoming more aware in a 20/20 perspective and through my research.

 As women we are super critical on ourselves.  We all probably have a list of things we would change if we had a "magic wand". 

 Even though I was AWARE this behavior existed, I think I have really been blind to the extent.

 I can only understand from my point of view. 

 If I give a compliment, it it is genuine and meant to be kind.  I have friends with great hair that I would die for... I do not envy them for it.  I do not harbor resentment that they have something on my "wish list".

 I have struggled with my body my entire life.  A big acceptance came for me when I realized that I was never going to have the "perfect" body even if I spent 24/7 in a gym.  I can only have "my" perfect body. 

 I have had friends with GREAT bodies and would LOVE to trade some body parts... this is isn't realistic.  Once again, it did not make them less likable or deserving of friendship. 

 I have had very close friends with huge personal success.  I am full on proud of them.  They are my friend... why wouldn't I be?  This is more a rarity than I realized.

 Here is what makes this behavior go UNNOTICED... They appear to "have it all".  "Why would they be envious?".  I have been very confused as well until I started observing and thinking back. 

 It's a hole and void they can't fill no matter what they have or look like. 

 They are overly concerned with "who likes them" and putting on a false persona.  They are the GIRLS who never got out of the "junior high mentality".

  Along our paths of finding ourselves, we should stumble around and constantly grow and learn.  I know I have. We ASSUME others go through the same growth.

 This is where, in my opinion, the difference lies in cluster B personalities. 

 It has often been observed among drug addicts.  "Emotional growth is halted at around the time of their first experience with drugs".  I think as these personality disorders are studied more that there will show a clear line whether these are co-morbid or separate. The reality is that both were caused by childhood abuse or trauma. 

It is kind of a "chicken or egg" scenario.

 Despite which "path" they take the emotional growth stunt is the SAME.  They cause every bit the same amount of threat and danger to others.  An addict is easier to spot.  The most dangerous are those with the "perfect" mask... "why would they"?

That is the REALITY they want no one to know


 #Critical #Thinking